Le Chat Noir

Dear Father McKenzie,

I received my first ever Valentine's flowers today. They are so beautiful. And the note...
It made me cry with the perfect blend of happiness and sentimental longing.
I love them-and you- more than you will ever know.

Thank you.
And please know that I will always come for your sermons.
And I now I could do far worse than dying in your church.

All my love,

Elanor R.

For some reason my life has become inundated with people who don't seem to understand the relationship they are in.
Either their partner isn't being forward with them about how things stand.
Or they are being forward and the other partner just isn't paying attention.

Talk to your partner.
Are you in something with the hope of a happily ever after? Are you the right person? Or the right no person.

Here are some tips-
If they don't tell you they love you- They Don't.
If they tell you they aren't in the right place in their life for anything serious- more than likely they aren't.
Ask them outright if you are a fuck, a fling or a forever.
And don't mistake the three.
Fuck is night by night.
Fling means they can be rather dedicated but they aren't fully committed. You have an expiration date.
Forever- well, that one is self explanatory.

So, to those of you out there who are dating someone who doesn't admit they are dating someone...
Those of you who are dating someone who tells their friends that they aren't in it for the long haul...
Those of you who are very specifically NOT being told "I love you"
Those of you who are being told by your boy/girlfriend that they aren't ready for something serious...
PAY ATTENTION!!!
Don't be daft.
Don't set yourself up to be hurt.
Don't assume that they just aren't saying things.
Don't figure that you will change them or wear them down with time.

Be happy with what you have or walk away from it to look for what you really want.
But stop deluding yourself.

Thanks

Ok, I need to talk a little bit about Valentine's Day..
"But Kitten, despite being romantic at heart you hate the commercialism of it all...and aren't you alone?"

Well, yes...and no. It is complicated in a way and dreadfully simple in others. But this isn't about me yet. It is about others...and their effect on me.
See, I have had some shitty relationship. Really shitty. But love hurts...right? It would be easy for me to look at my track record of romantic debacles and become a godless nun. Fortunately I am surrounded by some really amazing couples who constantly take my breath away. They have love for each other that is so strong that it stretched vines out to those around them so they can see love flourish in their lives as well. I want to take a moment to call some of them out and thank them for being in my life. I want to thank them for sharing their love and their lives with me.
lepapillonvert and la_muse_verte
fierce_rabbit and galbinus_caeli
karmalingoist3 and rudebone001
victoria_lane and wolverine
pitbullpotpie and mr.pitbullpotpie
cherrybomb70 and mr.cherrybomb70
ashesngolddust and packgrog

There are more wonderful and loving couples in my life. This list isn't to discount any of them. These are just the ones that have had the most impact on me.

And beyond that I want to thank baldsug, [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] and rubberdux. All of you have shown me more love and support over the years. You have made me keep my head up through so many horrible times. And most of all, you reminded me that my love is important. That is is something to value. And that even if it has ended badly with some that it is something that was never wasted. I am coming more and more to accept that it is ok if "love" ends. Maybe it is meant to do so. And I have known some really great loves. I can look at them all now and be happy for what we did have instead of thinking only of the bad things or regretting what we no longer have. And yes- I did say ALL of them. (Distance gives perspective after all.) And I thank all of them (Dexie, John, Kirsten, Paul, Ty, Scott, Meg, Berny, and Hampton) for being a part of my life then and a part of my heart still.

The greeting card holiday has really gotten me thinking about all of it. All of you...all of them. And letting myself be happy.
I have loved.
I have been loved.
And that is a good good thing.
Sure, sometimes I get lonely. I wish for someone next to me in life. Someone who calls me theirs and wants to be called mine. But I also know that I am so very lucky. I am surrounded by love. The love of others, the love of friends.
And my love has inspired long lasting beauty. I have inspired poems and stories and music and plays and photographs and paintings....I am a muse. My love has made such an impact on people that they needed to create things that will live long beyond our love and our lives.
That is pretty incredible to think about.

Anyway- So here is my Valentine's Day wish for all of you...
Find the love.
The love of your art..your friends...your families...your work...your lives...
This can be an ugly ugly world. It is easy to lose sight of the little things. And it is the little things that matter. So, you might not have a "sweetheart" on this holiday marker.
But you are loved.
And you do love others.
Celebrate it.