kittenspeaks: (Bettina)
So, yesterday I got a message on facebook from an associate who has a show at Gorilla Tango on Mondays.
He let me know there were flowers at the theater for me which were delivered on Sunday.
I went by after work to get them....

To whomever sent them: THANK YOU!!!

They are so beautiful! And your message...thank you. From that deep tender part of my heart- thank you.  This past year has been a real beast and I have questioned my choice to move (back) to Chicago and so many other choices. Thank you for reminding me that the stress and sacrifice hasn't been for nothing. There has been some triumph to all of it.
You are right- I should celebrate.
Thank you.
It was a delightful surprise and exactly what I needed.

*hugs*

(And really someone needs to get on that teleportation thing.)
kittenspeaks: (wrong era)
There is a Brand New!! item on Amazon.com and it is the new number one, all important, desperately desired item on my wish list. (It is the same thing on your list too, you just might no know it yet.)

What is this wonderful thing?
High Midnight the first novel from up and coming writer Rob Mosca
Rob is a wonderful man and a brilliant writer. I have been following him on LJ for years and his creative ramblings never disappoint.

You should click links now to make this book your purchase for my birthday and become my new favorite person. While there you should also purchase a copy for yourself or you will be sad. And you should purchase copies for everyone you like. Then you will also become their new favorite person as well.

Something you might not know is that Rob delayed the release of this publication so it would deliver near my birthday. Granted, he will tell you that it was due to formatting issues and a few other technical things. But we all know better. ;-) *






*Yes, I totally made that part up.

The Reveal

Feb. 20th, 2010 09:44 pm
kittenspeaks: (peering smile)
So, It seems my wonderful gift was from the wonderful, wonderful [livejournal.com profile] moonbird.
(Since I know who sent it now I can tell you what it was *g*)

Yesterday I got a set of 6 different Rooibos teas. (I have tried 3 of them and they are all so very good.)
Today, a companion came for them in the form of a tea/ mug warmer.
I couldn't have asked for a more perfect gift.
This week has been a lot with the job, some doctor visits, a table read of a show, my Grandpop being in the hospital...
I am exhausted. Today in Chicago was damp, cold and grey. So, I spent the day curled up with the kitties, some TV/ movies and the perfect addition of my super yummy teas.
And I got to sip them leisurely since since I had the warmer to keep them toasty.

Thank you so very much [livejournal.com profile] moonbird. I love it all.
kittenspeaks: (love in that moment)
So I made a run to UPS today to pick up a package.
It seems that someone did a little Valentine's Day/ Chinese New Year shopping and sent me a gift of some savory beverage...

The company included the receipt but no name.

So- if you want to speak up- Please do.
If you don't- that's fine too.
In either case: THANK YOU!!

This week has been exhausting on many levels. This gift was a wonderful surprise and a delightful treat to help lull me gently into my weekend.
I can't wait to try all of them.
kittenspeaks: (Reject Reality)
I had thought about writing about how much 2000-2009 really really sucked. I mean death of family and loved ones, illness and surgery, betrayal and heartbreak, violations and lack of trust, struggle and strife....yeah. There were many people and things that may have had good moments but all told they brought more bad and pain than good and happiness.
I don't really want to drudge all that up again. Much like the nightly news there is to much bad reported. I want to think about the good. So, the things I have had which brought more good and happy:

The highlights of The 20'Aughts-

1) Meeting Katinsky, Aileen, Carter, Evita and the rest of the Sensurround crew. These are the people I now consider my family and closest friends. So much of the other good for these years has been with/ for/ and because of them.
1a) Barker Project
1b) Geek Love (in ATL and Fringe Fest) 
    Sure, these things had their ups and downs but all in all they were experiences where I stretched and grew as an actress and worked with people who ( I trust and would share the boards with again and again. (And yes, this is even if I don't want to share anything other than The Boards with them.)
1c) Karaoke- Singing in public was my last great performance anxiety. If it weren't for the support, encouragement and friendly jabs I never could have done this. Now, I even feel ok with auditioning for shows with musical aspects.

2) Spring 4th. Thanks to Elvis, Rik, Chris and The Psytrance kids for this. I found a home there. I miss it a great deal. I really enjoyed my time at the door and in my "fishbowl" slinging the booze. It was a wonderful way to come out from under my rock, get my groove on a bit and also it gave a bit to my caretaker side in playing physical and emotional nursemaid to friends and strangers. 

3) Livejournal. Yep, I actually started this in 2000. And yes, there has been various drama and stress. But it has also lead me to many wonderful people. And it is cheaper than therapy.

4) Nomenclature- Ok, this really started with my time on the doors at 688 and on the Stage at Club Fetish and The Chamber. But, working with Kook and Foster at Nomenclature let me take a more active role in the over all process and I loved it. It also let me meet people like Jolie, Calico, Emily and others who have been (and continue to be) important and cherished parts of my life.

5) Trips to NOLA with Foster. I can't even begin to talk about all the fun I had there. NOLA had previously been a tainted city thanks to ventures in poor relationships. But, going there with a friend to see other friends and work various events- that was more than wonderful.

6) Voltaire- The man, The market. I truly enjoy working for Voltaire. He is a wonderful person, a talented artist and I have met some wonderful people because of it. Again for this I have to put Jayme, Joanne, Beverly, Travis, Randy and Audrey into my list of favorite people. I never would have met any of them if it weren't for Voltaire and my life would be less without them.

7) Meeting The Oracle, Bones and Melissa. (It's almost funny that The Oracle is really my only friend in Chicago now.) I owe much to them (and Melissa) for taking care of my fur-kids when I sojourn back to the south.  Extra special love for The Oracle and Melissa for stepping in on short notice to take care of them when Mom died.  The Oracle has been there for me in many nights/ early morning of talking over breakfast or tea. And of course I couldn't have a better crowd here for silly dancing at 80's nights.

8) ARTC and MRAP. What fun!! And what wonderful people to work with. It brought me a new skill set as well as a diverse group of people who are all warm, talented, fun, creative and delightful. Almost from the moment I walked in to Chez WilbanksRich I felt wanted and accepted. I did several delightful shows with them. All in all, it represents work and people that I am proud to have in my life.

9) Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, it was a short run and I have done better shows. But playing Benvolio was great fun. I met "The Crush". I had a really fun time. And it was the kicker that got me out of the "sacrifice" of my marriage (where I gave up everything I wanted so I could help others with their goals) and back to doing stuff that was for me. And breaking my foot just made for a funny story of all of it.

10) Matt, Lynette, Karen, Monique and Mykie. United Airlines hasn't brought me much in the way of happiness or "good". But, it did bring these people into my life. I know for a fact I could not have made it through the last year without them. They have listened to me rant and rave. They have hugged me while I cried. They have indulged my work madness an even laughed at it from time to time.

So, there you have it. All the good from 00-09. It isn't much when I think of the list of bad. But, it is enough. It has kept me going. People, places and shows which have nourished my heart and spirit. And that is the most important part of life.

Moving forward? Well, I don't really have any resolutions for 2010. I decided the over all "better my person and life" are something I need to work harder on all of the time and there is no end result. It isn't a pass/fail. It is an ongoing effort.  Well, I suppose there is a "fail" which comes if I stop trying.
I do, however, have some measured goals I would like to complete in 2010.
1) Read (at least) 25 new books.  I know I should aim for more but I am hoping to be busy with other things.

2) Go on (at least) 12 auditions. Again, I know I should do more. But I am hoping to get cast in several shows so it will impair my ability to audition.
3) Perform in (at least) 4 shows and/or 6 film/ commercial shoots.

4) Watch 52 new movies (1 a week) . With Netflix, the ability to download stuff and theaters this one should be a cinch. Since this is part of what I want as a career I need to put in the hours to study the form more.

5) Watch 12 live shows. (1 a month) See above reasons. And it is better than wasting time in front of the T.V.

6) Travel more. As long as I am stuck working for United I need to take advantage of my flight benefits. I have a passport. I need to use it. I also have so many place in the US I need to see.  There is definitely a trip needed to Buffalo to see Moo. Where else can I go? Anyone out there have a couch which would suit a traveling Kitten for a night or two? (Sadly, as long as I a working for United there is no way I can afford hotels or even hostels.) But I want to get out more and see more people.

7) Go to museums at least 12 times. Different museums. Different adventures. There are enough free/ discounted things here in Chicago that I just need to get out and to it. I also really want to go to the Tim Burton Exhibit at the MoMA and spend more time there. (The trip there with Joanne was shorter than I wanted since I was feeling so poorly.)

8) Go to at least 12 new restaurants.  Ok, going out to eat once a month is a huge splurge. I'll have to work hard on the budget for this. But, I need to be more adventurous. I need to get out and explore more. And, I need to eat.

9) Take at least one class. More than likely this will be in some kind of theater training. But, it can be anything. If I can find a free class for something all the better. All the more need to expand and grow. If I can do more I will. I suspect it depends largely on money.

10) ???  I need a 10th goal. Something that is easily quantified. Preferably something that will be free.  Suggestions?

For [livejournal.com profile] wolven

Sep. 30th, 2008 10:02 pm
kittenspeaks: (wrong era)
Do you ever find those people in your life who you mesh with?
The people for whom there need be no words?
But when they do speak you feel a resonance with the sounds of their soul more than their words?
Everyone has times that they think, "I wish so-and so was here." But have you ever felt that retroactively?
Have you met someone, then thought about moments in your life and wish that they had been there?
There are those people.
You are those people...for me.
I am sure you are that person for others.
There is a quality in you that is deep as oceans. It has a connection with the universe that is mystical.
I feel that when I am in your presence.
With you as the sea and [livejournal.com profile] mech_angel the moon carrying your tides.
It is breathtaking.
I am honored to be the butterfly that sometimes flaps her wings in your reality.

Written because of this:
Inspired by [livejournal.com profile] thenowhere 4 years ago I swipe from [livejournal.com profile] wolven:

Write something for me, that encompasses the mood, the emotion, the feeling of Fall. Two necessary components: Fall and Me. A feeling of me, a thought about me, a way you see me, something you want from me. "Just for me. Post it in your journal so everyone else can see it, too. A sentence, a paragraph. Nanofiction. Short story. A scene, dialogue, a picture described, a moment, anything. Long or short. But it's got to be just for me. Tell the world you wrote it for me, even. Mine.

"Then feel free to put this up in your own journal, and I'll reciprocate."

Stats....

Jul. 1st, 2008 02:59 am
kittenspeaks: (Needles Eyes)
Friends: 245
Friend of: 303

So, the people I list as friends obviously I know...or at least they told me who they were, why they are here and tempted me enough to add them to this- mostly friends only- journal.

The rest of you- seriously- who the fuck are you?

Towels...

May. 25th, 2006 08:53 am
kittenspeaks: (Fuzzy)
Wow...look at the towel go.
And I wasn't even thinking about the fact that it is Towel Day
kittenspeaks: (toon me)


Site Meter



An uncharacteristic public post because there are LJ-less people that need to see this....

The past few months have been pretty awful. With the collection of stresses and illness and solitude and family issues I have really been at the end of my rope. There have been a few people that have really been there for me and really helped me to hold on and I appreciate it more than you imagine. So, I figured it was time to call them out by name instead of just leaving lumps of occasional appreciation.

The LJ-less John Foster- for late night chats, brunch, the symphony, and bars and jokes and general calls to see what is up in my life. Thank you for being that tether. Thank you for making me get out of my hole and into the world from time to time. I'm really looking forward to next Saturday.

[livejournal.com profile] pitbullpotpie for helping me get through when all I had went to my sick kitty. All will be settled soon. I promise.

[livejournal.com profile] ashesngolddust and [livejournal.com profile] vamp_de_roux- My long distance angels and my two closest friends. The women who remind me often that I am a good woman and I deserve better than my life. Also the ones who remind me that I am the one who has to fight to make it better. You have made me keep my chin up so that I can remember that I need to get up and out.

[livejournal.com profile] fierce_rabbit and [livejournal.com profile] galbinus_caeli- the quiet forces that drop in just often enough to remind me that I have a strong and loving family even if it isn't the one related to me by blood.

[livejournal.com profile] victoria_lane- the distant beauty who reminds me that it can get worse and it can get better. I ave to work if I want the latter but it is always out there. She leads by example. A few years ago we "watched the Oscars together". We were actually both alone on our respective coasts and chatting on IM almost the whole ceremony. It was one of the best Oscar parties I ever had. :-)

And last but certainly not least- The LJ-less Hampton. So many people have chastised me for my continued friendship and involvement with you. But you are the one who calls out of the blue to chat. You are the one who has come over in the middle of the night when I was scared. You were the one by my side when the creepy teamster accosted me and I had to face the lawyers and what not. You are the one who has found me for late night coffee when I was lonely and isolated. You are the one to take me for movies and food and goes out of your way to make me laugh. Sure, you break my heart as often as you warm it but until others are the ones stepping up to be there for me the way you have then I think they need to stop criticizing my involvement with you. * So it seems I spoke too soon...C'est la vie

So, to all of you- Thank you. Thank you for being there for me...especially in these times that I have not known how to be there for myself. I am not out of the dark yet but I am beginning to believe there might be a light at the end. I love you all....

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