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Not an excuse...
Oct. 29th, 2007 03:14 amIf someone could please hand me my soap box...
Thanks
*climbs up*
[RANT]
I made a voice post early Friday morning about the severe uncomfortable weirdness.
It was an isolated incident and I thought about not talking about it.
Then some more stuff happened with other people.
Then I got to thinking about so many things I have decided that I am going to talk about it because it needs to be said.
I WAS DRUNK IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR BAD BEHAVIOR!!!!
See, Thurs night my roomie got really drunk. (To his credit this is something he has not done nearly as often as he was once prone to doing.) I went to the bar to meet him, get out of the house, see a few other people, shake off the bad of the day...that kind of thing. Not long after my arrival my roomie commented that we should "kiss".
I replied that it would be like kissing my brother and laughed it off.
Conversation with the group continued.
My roomie was cuddling and rubbing on me more and more. But hey, I was wearing velvet.
He then started talking about how we should go home and mess around.
*blink*
I didn't reply so he proceeded with talk of how I should let him go down on me, blah blah blah.
Once he was ready to leave I drove him home and he continues this line of conversation. I explained nicely that it would be weird, would make our living situation weird and that I didn't like that kind of thing anyway...a fact of which he was well aware.
I dropped him off at home and went back tot he bar then to breakfast with the bartender.
This conversation was harshly inappropriate.
1) I'm his friend. Not some random whore in a bar.
2) I am not just some random whore who does sexual things with people. I require love.
3) I am his roommate and that kind of thing would make the living situation very weird.
4) It wasn't something offered out of love or compassion. It was offered out of drunken neediness.
5) He has been my friend long enough and knows me well enough to know that kind of thing really really bothers me.
When I asked the roomie on Saturday how much he remembered he claimed little to nothing. I reminded him and he blew it off as the fact that he was drunk and I should know not to think anything of it in that situation.
Um....
Yeah.
Fuck that.
Now then, my roomie is basically a nice guy. We are friends and have been for a few years. He is not a threat or a danger or anything like that. He just has a tendency to get drunk and be something of a sleaze or an asshole.
He is not alone in this.
Lots of people are like that.
While out at Exit for Sat. night Halloween stuff I had so many people who could barely speak make *very* inappropriate remarks and gestures towards me and some of my companions. At times their friends would drunkenly apologize for them with the "sorry, he's drunk" excuse. Typically this apology was followed by their very own inappropriate advance.
I will be the first person to admit that when I get a few drinks in me I'll make out with just about anyone. Hell, I am a mack-whore. Sometimes, in the right group of friends I'll do this sober. I like to kiss people.
I always remember everything I have done. I never kiss anyone who doesn't initiate it. I never kiss anyone who is with someone else unless the someone else has given permission. All in all, it is never something I feel the need to apologize for later.
If I did feel the need to apologize I don't think I would excuse my behavior with "well, I was drunk". More likely it would be, "I am sorry I am an insensitive bitch...there is no excuse."
I pondered the history of this line.
This oh-so-common "well I was drunk" bullshit.
I have decided that it pisses me off.
Hey, if you can't control your behavior THEN YOU SHOULDN'T FUCKING DRINK!!!!
Yeah, you heard me.
Hell, at the very least you should drink in the privacy of your own home so that you don't have to worry about doing things to upset, offend or hurt others.
My drunken make out session were things I was still in control of and aware I was doing. Some of it I might not have done without the lighter inhibitions but I was still aware and in control.
I also don't understand drinking to the point of blacking out. If you are drinking to help you have fun why do you take it to the point where you can't remember the fun you had?
So here it is in a nutshell.
Grow the fuck up people.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Don't apologize with "well I was drunk". Apologize with, "I'm really sorry. I am a shithead and my behavior was inexcusable."
Think about those words and MEAN THEM.
And if you find yourself having to do that more than once a year or so- then maybe you have a serious problem and should seek help.
"I was drunk" will no longer be accepted as an apology/ reason for anything more drastic than sloshing a drunk on me.
[/RANT]
In light of this newly ignited ire against the drunken shitheads of the world I have decided to curb my drinking.
I don't really drink much as it is so this isn't a major challenge. But, I feel I should try to set a better example. If I am going to be critical of drunken behavior I should be able to be one of the ones who's just not drunk.
I am giving myself a general 2 drink maximum should I be having a social drink.
One drink maximum if i am having an "end of the day wind down at home" beverage.
I am going to let myself get drunk from time to time. After all, I do like it. But I will be a "special occasion drunk". The current list is: NYE, St. Patrick's Day (if it is not preceding a work day), my birthday celebration, DragonCon, Carter's Holiday Soiree, Absinthe Lounge (should i ever get to be in the right place at the right time for this glorious event).
That's it. Even if there are times like other birthdays, other parties...what ever...where the company and environment might lend to drunkenness...not gonna do it. Maybe others will see this example as a good one and want to follow it.
Thanks
*climbs up*
[RANT]
I made a voice post early Friday morning about the severe uncomfortable weirdness.
It was an isolated incident and I thought about not talking about it.
Then some more stuff happened with other people.
Then I got to thinking about so many things I have decided that I am going to talk about it because it needs to be said.
I WAS DRUNK IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR BAD BEHAVIOR!!!!
See, Thurs night my roomie got really drunk. (To his credit this is something he has not done nearly as often as he was once prone to doing.) I went to the bar to meet him, get out of the house, see a few other people, shake off the bad of the day...that kind of thing. Not long after my arrival my roomie commented that we should "kiss".
I replied that it would be like kissing my brother and laughed it off.
Conversation with the group continued.
My roomie was cuddling and rubbing on me more and more. But hey, I was wearing velvet.
He then started talking about how we should go home and mess around.
*blink*
I didn't reply so he proceeded with talk of how I should let him go down on me, blah blah blah.
Once he was ready to leave I drove him home and he continues this line of conversation. I explained nicely that it would be weird, would make our living situation weird and that I didn't like that kind of thing anyway...a fact of which he was well aware.
I dropped him off at home and went back tot he bar then to breakfast with the bartender.
This conversation was harshly inappropriate.
1) I'm his friend. Not some random whore in a bar.
2) I am not just some random whore who does sexual things with people. I require love.
3) I am his roommate and that kind of thing would make the living situation very weird.
4) It wasn't something offered out of love or compassion. It was offered out of drunken neediness.
5) He has been my friend long enough and knows me well enough to know that kind of thing really really bothers me.
When I asked the roomie on Saturday how much he remembered he claimed little to nothing. I reminded him and he blew it off as the fact that he was drunk and I should know not to think anything of it in that situation.
Um....
Yeah.
Fuck that.
Now then, my roomie is basically a nice guy. We are friends and have been for a few years. He is not a threat or a danger or anything like that. He just has a tendency to get drunk and be something of a sleaze or an asshole.
He is not alone in this.
Lots of people are like that.
While out at Exit for Sat. night Halloween stuff I had so many people who could barely speak make *very* inappropriate remarks and gestures towards me and some of my companions. At times their friends would drunkenly apologize for them with the "sorry, he's drunk" excuse. Typically this apology was followed by their very own inappropriate advance.
I will be the first person to admit that when I get a few drinks in me I'll make out with just about anyone. Hell, I am a mack-whore. Sometimes, in the right group of friends I'll do this sober. I like to kiss people.
I always remember everything I have done. I never kiss anyone who doesn't initiate it. I never kiss anyone who is with someone else unless the someone else has given permission. All in all, it is never something I feel the need to apologize for later.
If I did feel the need to apologize I don't think I would excuse my behavior with "well, I was drunk". More likely it would be, "I am sorry I am an insensitive bitch...there is no excuse."
I pondered the history of this line.
This oh-so-common "well I was drunk" bullshit.
I have decided that it pisses me off.
Hey, if you can't control your behavior THEN YOU SHOULDN'T FUCKING DRINK!!!!
Yeah, you heard me.
Hell, at the very least you should drink in the privacy of your own home so that you don't have to worry about doing things to upset, offend or hurt others.
My drunken make out session were things I was still in control of and aware I was doing. Some of it I might not have done without the lighter inhibitions but I was still aware and in control.
I also don't understand drinking to the point of blacking out. If you are drinking to help you have fun why do you take it to the point where you can't remember the fun you had?
So here it is in a nutshell.
Grow the fuck up people.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Don't apologize with "well I was drunk". Apologize with, "I'm really sorry. I am a shithead and my behavior was inexcusable."
Think about those words and MEAN THEM.
And if you find yourself having to do that more than once a year or so- then maybe you have a serious problem and should seek help.
"I was drunk" will no longer be accepted as an apology/ reason for anything more drastic than sloshing a drunk on me.
[/RANT]
In light of this newly ignited ire against the drunken shitheads of the world I have decided to curb my drinking.
I don't really drink much as it is so this isn't a major challenge. But, I feel I should try to set a better example. If I am going to be critical of drunken behavior I should be able to be one of the ones who's just not drunk.
I am giving myself a general 2 drink maximum should I be having a social drink.
One drink maximum if i am having an "end of the day wind down at home" beverage.
I am going to let myself get drunk from time to time. After all, I do like it. But I will be a "special occasion drunk". The current list is: NYE, St. Patrick's Day (if it is not preceding a work day), my birthday celebration, DragonCon, Carter's Holiday Soiree, Absinthe Lounge (should i ever get to be in the right place at the right time for this glorious event).
That's it. Even if there are times like other birthdays, other parties...what ever...where the company and environment might lend to drunkenness...not gonna do it. Maybe others will see this example as a good one and want to follow it.
