Fuckers...I hope you bleed

Anger
Violation
Loss
Such a little thing and yet...
Strip of leather clasped in sweaty hand
Bit to remember
Bits of Remembrances
Pieces of things from
Pieces of Past
Just bits of metal, plastic and stone
You can't imagine what you took from me.
All the time in the world won't give it back...

Fine...you win. I give up on trying to keep things close to my heart.


What, my dear readers, you may ask inspired this latest expression of discontent and ire? Well, I discovered today that my jeep has again been violated.

I keep certain talisman that hang from my rear view mirror. Several little things like a fertility goddess, a bottle of lapis, a 5 pointed star with moonstone...All little things that have a certain place with my life.

Well, today I discovered that something was missing. Several somethings really.
The charm was an Aztec Sun Calendar. My mother bought this for me at the first Native American Mother's Day Festival. I was 12 when she gave this to me.
Attached: A Rosary of the Couer de Enfant. This was a gift from a gentleman friend in college. He saved me from a very abusive relationship and gave me the rosary for continued protection when he couldn't be with me
My old wedding ring...engraved with celtic battle dragons. Yes, the marriage sucked but, there were a couple of good times and the ring was still symbolic of a large period of my life.
A silver ring with a rope pattern. This was given to my by Ty, my most recent ex. He gave it to me on our first date as I was still feeling odd without my wedding ring. It was the first symbol of protection and trust between us.
A posey ring...it read de mon amour soyez sûr...of my love be sure. This was also a gift from Ty on our first Valentine's Day.
Lastly, a tri-ring. It carried a similar pattern as the posey ring. Ty bought this for me since the rings could be twisted on each other making it a bit smaller in size. This twisting made it small enough to fit on the ring finger of my left hand. He said, "I wanted to put a ring on THAT finger. (Yes, I know that relationship ended horribly but, these moments were good.)

All of the things that were truly sentimental to me in that vehicle were cruelly ripped from inside of her. All I have left is a small bit of the leather strip that the Sun Calendar hung from.

So, I give up. Want to step into my life and take from me the things I hold dear? Now is the time to do it. Better move quick before I remember how to fight. Better move far before I remember that you are the one who took from me and I hunt you down.

So, to whomever did this to me (although I really hope it isn't someone close enough to my world to actually know to read this) I wish the very very worst for you. Bad Karma for me to do so? Perhaps, but, I could give a fuck! My life fairly well is for shit right now anyway so what is another bit of badness and suffering. And, if it is someone who read this...and I catch you...be warned that I will drown you in you own blood.

The good side of all of this. Nothing can hurt me anymore. At least for a while because I am beyond caring.